Wanderlust

Growing up, I always wished that I could travel. I would watch “Lonely Planet” on Discovery or Samantha Brown’s show on Travel Channel and boy, would I be envious of her? Affirmative! I wanted to grow up and be just like her. To a teenager travel across the whole world seemed like a thrilling, challenging, and an awe-inspiring experience which it certainly is, but it is not just those things, it is much more. It is a feeling of belonging to some remote haven to which you may not have any evident connections but once you stayed there the connections would develop. As if you left a footprint in both time and space. You would meet new people, understand new cultures, explore new surroundings. Which is why, bitten by the travel bug, I chose to leave the safety and familiarity of my home town for unfamiliar shores. Of course I did that under the pretext of further studies but studies was only part of the reason. I didn’t want to be from or of one place, I wanted to be from many places, if that makes any sense. I have a very specific list of places that I want to see, preferably before I get old and unfit to travel :P.

1. Amsterdam, Netherlands

2. Akaroa, New Zealand

3. Paris, France

4. Bora Bora, French Polynesia

5. Ushuaia, Chile

The goal is that in the next decade I have been to all of the above places and experienced the things that I imagine that I would experience when I’m there. I think what I will experience will far surpass my imagination and I will never be the same anymore.

Look Pinocchio…those are strings

Tired of being wooden I want to be alive
Feel every single thing, nothing to deny
No more living, like life were a farce
Set free your mind, from behind these bars

Still figuring out how to live
Testing the capacity of joys to give
Pretending some days as if it were surreal
Learn the art of living, that would be a big deal

Gaze lonely most days, constantly in fear
What if this were an illusion, it would disappear
Feeling the presence still, of the string master
Trying to avert some kind of disaster

There are certain things that I’ve done
There is a beast that I try to outrun
Don’t know if that day will ever come
Which will be my entire life’s sum

Carry the curse of half-life to my grave
The strings are being held by a knave
Can’t trust his words, he won’t release
Need to give a bribe, need to appease

Bargained my soul so I would be given a full life
Thought it would end all this strife
Real life pain seeing, hurt feeling, love seeking
Real life mind numbing, judging, forgiving

Hear me sing, watch me dance, see me lose control
No disappointments, no regrets, no reasons to fall
Make believe that no hand is holding onto me
If I chose I could just walk Scot-free

Forgot that my soul hung in the balance
Indifference could no longer stand a chance
No matter how much happiness and joy it brings
I told myself, “Look Pinocchio…those are strings”

Lost at sea

Sometimes funny things happen, which of course don’t seem funny at all when they were happening but in retrospect are kind of funny. Recently, we went to the beach for our company retreat. It is usually held on one of those balmy summer days which are so few and far between in New England. Every year there is some special treat and this year we could take speed boats from the marina for a spin in the blue-green ocean stretched far and wide in front of us.

My friend and I happened to be the last ones remaining who had not tried the boat ride as yet that everybody seemed to be so excited about. So we went to the proprietor of the speed boats and requested to take a boat out. The lady or should I say the girl working there pointed us towards boat number 30 which was going to be our ride. My friend inquired about the mechanics of driving the thing which seemed simple, just a key to turn on the motor and a stick to throttle and steering to steer, perfect simple and easy. Practical as always, he also asked about the fuel tank being full and how far out we could take her. To which the girl replied, “You could take her pretty far, you guys are all set. ” We should have been suspicious at the “pretty far” part itself but we were not.

We sat gingerly into the tiny seats and my friend turned the key and carefully shifted the stick to mid speed and moved out of the marina and into the great ocean gradually going full throttle. It was truly a beautiful day, sunlight shimmering on the water, a nice breeze blowing my hair untidy, getting hit by salt spray occasionally. Few seagulls were perched, sunbathing, on the rocks that were jutting out of the water near the shore. We had gone far enough that we could easily see the Boston downtown skyline clearly. My friend asked if we should turn around, but I was enjoying myself so much that I said we ought to go a little further, which we did. I loved to put my hand in the water as if trying to cut the waves into two. The Atlantic is always so cold, despite the warm sunshine the water temperature was probably in the 50s. We couldn’t help but smile as we took in our surroundings.

Finally, we agreed that we had come far enough and turned around towards the shore. We might have covered a fourth of the distance we drove earlier and at that point the motor and the boat came to a sudden stop. My friend looked at me with a puzzled and worried expression, to which my response was “Oh come on, I’m not falling for that, you turned the key while I wasn’t looking, turn it back and start the motor.” He was annoyed by this and told me that he did not stop the engine, the motor just stopped, “We are out of fuel.” he said. I still made him turn the key off and back on to which the motor groaned for a split second and for that split second I thought he was just kidding with me before and now we can drive back. But, unfortunately, the motor groaned and died and I realized that he really was scared. Now we were both thinking about cell phones which we both had not carried with us thinking that they would get wet so why bother. If you think not carrying our cell phones was stupid than here is the real kicker, neither of us had been smart enough to ask for life jackets.

Since there were no boats near us we decided to wait. Seeing my friend get very tensed I tried distracting him by asking about his golf game from earlier that morning although he didn’t look too happy about me trying to distract him. We started trying to row with our hands and the movie “Piranha” flashed in my head for a second. I shook off that feeling of fear as soon as it had started to take hold in my head. I was thinking soon the others will miss us and come looking for us. And on the plus side, at least the waves were taking us to the shore, albeit very slowly. From where we were, the shoreline looked like tiny dots far away. Then I realized that my friend is probably a better swimmer than I, the shallow-end-swimming-pool-swimmer. Dismissing all these thoughts, I put on a brave face and told my friend that its best to wait, “Someone from the marina will come looking for us” I said. I don’t know whether this was me being eternally optimistic or brave or just plain stupid. After all, there is a very fine line of demarcation between bravery and stupidity.

It seemed like hours had passed by. In the meantime, we saw a sailing boat, it was nowhere near us but nevertheless we started waving our arms wildly and screaming that we have no fuel and we are stuck and that we need help. Obviously they could not hear us but waved back in our direction as a sign of sea-faring camaraderie. We continued to wave in a crazy manner and they finally took notice that our little speed boat was not moving and that we were waving way too frantically and they started moving toward us. As the sailing boat was within ear shot they heard our screams of help and we told them that we didn’t have any fuel and were stranded and did not have cell phones so if they could please contact someone at the shore to get us we would be very grateful. They said they will do just that and told us not to worry. We both thanked them profusely. And as if god had heard our prayers we saw another boat coming in our direction and on looking closely it was the girl, who had provided us the boat, and another guy who worked for the proprietor. There were a lot of “thank-god-you-came” and “thank-god-we-found-you”s. My friend told the girl that he was starting to feel like a castaway. They told us that they had binoculars and were searching for our boat for a while before they found us. They brought their boat alongside ours’ and used their boat rope to attach to the front tip of our boat and hauled us to shore.

My friend and I visibly relaxed, thanked our lucky stars, and enjoyed the rest of the ride back. He confessed that he was wondering if there were any sharks in this part of the waters. It was then that I started thinking that I was neither brave nor stupid. I’m just unattached and the thought that a strong wave could have toppled the boat and I might have drowned did not affect in the same way as it would my friend who has a wife and a kid. Of course I’m not trying to lessen the degree of my fear or the value of my life but that feels like a rational explanation to me. In true Shakespearean “All’s well that ends well” fashion the rest of the day was amazing.

Raindrops

Love the sound of falling rain
Hearing it my heart goes insane
Try to reign it but it’s no use
My eyes drink in the beautiful hues
Drops like pearls upon the greens
Rushing on to meet the streams
Smell them as they touch the ground
This touch, it makes the earth astound
Takes me back to my time with you
Wish we start over all anew
Slowly reach those wonderful days
Without any pretense or plays
Heavens have opened up their gates
A lovely future for us awaits

The early bird catches the worm…

My dad used the above phrase to impress upon me the importance of waking up early, to which my retort was “But look what the worm got for getting up early. What if I’m not the bird? What if I’m the worm?” Over the years I have realized that I’m inherently nocturnal. Even though I try to wake early every now and then, that requires exceptional effort on my part and my brain is programmed to be alert and productive during the pre-predawn hours rather than at dawn.

First of, it surprises me how people manage to fall asleep early and then what surprises me even more is that they wake up early. For me early to bed is only a concept which has never really materialized. I usually have most of my “AHA” moments of some intellectual spark around midnight making it extremely difficult to concentrate on sleep. Plus I’m usually reading a book and for some unknown reason the plot usually thickens right around 11.30pm. Now that’s not fair, I can’t put the book down now, I have to read more and at least reach a point where I’m satisfied enough to want to let go. Consequently, I hear the alarm at 6am and snooze it. I think the snooze option was invented for me or people like me.

To me, it is mildly annoying, to see people who are chirpy and fresh even before their first cup of coffee. It takes me at least 2 cups before I am awake and receptive. All the early birds do get recognition for coming in early. But the people who may not come early but stay late to finish a task don’t get a pat on the back for that. Why is it so virtuous to be an early bird but staying up late is considered sinful? I do not agree with that but I know the general public opinion leans towards the virtues of rising early.

Sometimes, just to prove that I’m a contradiction, I wake up early even when I don’t have to go to work. I will turn on my iPod, put on my running shoes and go for a run. It’s my own rebellion stating “Of course I can get up early, I just won’t, not when it counts.” These rebellions are quite rare though and I prefer my nocturnal schedule and staying up until the wee small hours of morning.

Lighthouse

Life brings you upon some rocky shore
All you see are visions from before
Your mind is confused and disjoint
You wonder how it got to this point
Echoes from the distant past
It’s trickery that they should outlast
They should have met their sorry end
Puzzling how they could still defend
Against all odds and distractions put forth
Thought your mind, to forget, it would be worth
Kept the painful memories alive and well
In a corner, ready to assault you with
Should you intend to not commit
Your troubles were nothing more
Due just to a memory lapsed
You will have all under control
When the situation is grasped
The mind will see reason fair
Illogical ideas fall to deafened ear
When that happens the sun will rise
Tide you over to cheerful skies
Somewhere along a safer bay
A lighthouse awaits you if you may
Leave behind this awful plight
It will act as your guiding light

Nostalgia

As I check my email I remember those old days
When email was not invented yet
We were free of the social media craze
No iPhone to enslave us, No Facebook to cajole
No playing Wii or Xbox on a gaming console
Days when Solitaire was fun on a Pentium 2
Watching some television, but we’d never over-do
Asking directions to passers-by in a new place
That was how we got around in the pre-GPS age
Google wasn’t there, to guide us with their maps
Cell phones did not have any geo-positioning apps
Telephones with huge antennas and bulky handsets
Movies that were seen and recorded on video cassettes
No internet, No Yahoo, no messenger chat windows
No live streaming radio feeds or YouTube videos
Had our share of fun with a healthy dose of cricket
Checking play conditions, the players, and the wicket
Match coverage was widely heard on pocket transistors
Unencumbered from match fixing and shifty selectors
Bollywood churned out masala movies using fixed formulas
Questioned the moviegoers’ intelligence, but that was the case alas
Banking was with withdrawal slips and token numbers
No one had dreamed of earning pounds or dollars
Not many had anticipated the IT industry boom
Nor had anyone considered the financial crisis gloom
Things would change so rapidly, who would have known
Lives, though easier, won’t be simpler, the changes have shown

Truth shall set you free

For an inveterate liar, truth begins with lies
Even if it is unethical and demands a heavy price
They hide what lurks beneath that innocent smile
Even though they know it to be vile
Lies may be meant to please, but lying is an insidious tree
Why not be honest once? The truth shall set you free.

“Smart are we,” the liars think, but they are goddamn fools
For lying may be an art, but they’re playing with scary tools
This world can very easily act like a boomerang
What goes around comes around, they will feel a guilty pang
Lies may be meant to please, but lying is an insidious tree
Why not be honest once? The truth shall set you free.

Call it white lies or just a tiny little fib
What it really is, is people being glib
Rationalizing it as good intention-ed, may sound swell
Good intentions have on many occasions paved the road to hell
Lies may be meant to please, but lying is an insidious tree
Why not be honest once? The truth shall set you free.

With truth there is no need to plot and scheme
No need to remember the motif and the theme
Truth may be ugly and may have few friends
It leaves you enlightened as your journey ends
Lies may be meant to please, but lying is an insidious tree
Why not be honest once? The truth shall set you free.

Haunting Melodies

I’m no stranger to A.R. Rahman’s music but recently when a friend introduced me to the album “Connections,” I was completely bowled over. He is one composer who knows how to push the envelope and this album is pure melody. There is a particularly haunting number called “Mann chandre nu” in this album. Amazingly sung by Sukhwinder Singh and Shraddha Pundit and even without lengthy lyrics Rahman has managed to compose a seven and a half-minute song. I’m not sure who has actually written the lyrics but they are beautiful and have so much pain in them that they haunt you forever. I probably listened to the song nonstop for hours, forgetting sleep, forgetting everything. Such is the excellence of the music created by the maestro and due credit to the lyricist. Whoever composed the following must surely have known love and heartbreak.

Mann chandre nu raas naa aave,
Mann chandre nu raas naa aave,
Naa aave darwaas.
Jigar daa saudaa kyon kar baithaa?
Mukhdi jaandi aas.

Je lut jaandaa te lut jaandaa,
Dil hauke khaa ke chup jaandaa.
Je lut jaandaa te lut jaandaa,
Dil hauke khaa ke chup jaandaa.

Beparvaa daa ki kehna, hai
Naa aave darwaas,
Jigar daa saudaa kyon kar baithaa?
Mukhdi jaandi aas!

Dard sataundaa, Bedardaan nu,
Bedardaa daa ki jaandaa?
Dard sataundaa, Bedardan nu,
Bedardaa daa ki jaandaa?
Bedardaa daa ki jaandaa?

Mann chandre nu raas naa aave,
Naa aave darwaas.