I thoroughly enjoyed the Harry Potter books and the wizarding world that JKR has created. I initially read these books about 10 years ago and watched the movies when they came out. I recently heard the stories again in audio book format and cannot help but be obsessed by some of the inconsistencies in the plot lines and characters which now seem downright illogical.

The fantasy world created by JKR is amazing but it does feel odd at times. I love the richness with which she has brought so many wonderful things to life and made the books very engaging so much so that 10 years later and I still enjoyed listening to them. The trouble is due to the fact that she initially wrote these books for children and they had very clearly defined good and evil sides but by the time we reach book 7 the strict black and white categorization makes the characters feel like caricatures. After my last read of this series, I wanted to note down things that bother me a lot (which is pretty much the entire series, I guess a children’s book series will always portray adults as morons).

How does the “trace” placed on underage wizards & witches work? Harry has to face a ministry trial when his Patronus charm is immediately detected in Little Whinging (muggle world) in book 5—the ministry knew the time, the location, the spell, and that a muggle was present when Harry cast the patronus. However, in book 6 we find out that Tom Riddle killed his muggle father and grandparents by using the killing curse while he was underage and in Little Hangleton (muggle world). I get that the memory charm Tom did on his uncle Morphin in the Gaunt’s house, will go undetected but how can the use of “avada kedavra” on muggles by an underage wizard go undetected?

In book 1 Quirrell gets Dumbledore out of the way by faking an urgent message from the Ministry in order to steal the Sorcerer’s stone. As per the book, Quirrell sends the letter in the afternoon. However, Quirrell doesn’t actually seem to go after the stone until it is night. How come Dumbledore isn’t back from the Ministry by then? I mean he only has to go outside the Hogwarts’ grounds and apparate to London know the truth once at the ministry and disapparate immediately. Dumbledore, who is shown as an almost omniscient wizard with prodigious magical skill, seems to behave oddly by using the slowest form of transport to London and back. So either he intentionally does that hoping that Harry would get the stone from the “Mirror of Arised” or JKR wanted to shape the story so our trio get into the habit of taking on obstacles at the end of each school year.

The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets in book 2 is shown to be through the pipes in the girls’ bathroom. Salazar Slytherin kept this monster hidden a thousand years ago when we did not have pipes or modern plumbing. Did Tom Riddle add the new pipes in the girls’ bathroom with the snake carving when he was at Hogwarts? If Riddle did add that wouldn’t he be more likely to use the boys’ bathroom given that boys aren’t even allowed in girls’ dorms let alone in girls’ bathrooms. Also, in the movie or in the book, the basilisk is a gigantic snake. How is it fitting through the pipes? Does the snake have powers of contraction while travelling through pipes?

Marauder’s Map – This is one of my biggest peeves with the series. Before Ron’s rat Scabbers is revealed to be the wizard Peter Pettigrew, the rat has been in Percy’s and then Ron’s possession at Hogwarts. Pettigrew’s presence would have shown up on the Marauder’s Map, which Fred and George Weasley seem to know like the back of their hand and yet they never noticed neither Ron’s nor Percy’s secret roommate Peter Pettigrew at Hogwarts. The twins who are as shrewd as they come by never notice Peter on the map but Harry notices him almost immediately after the map comes into his possession in book 3. Another issue is that the twins had the map during book 2 and they never noticed Ginny Weasley at the crime scenes when she writes the warnings on the wall about the Chamber of Secrets being open.

Time Turners – This is my other biggest peeve with the series. Much of the plot of book 3 hinges on time travel. JKR did have some explanation for this and she was quick to dispose of these artifacts in book 5 but why would you invent an artifact as powerful as the time turner and then use it only to save one man, one magical creature and to aid a third year student with studies?

When Sirius is accused of killing the 12 muggle people and Peter Pettigrew, the ministry of magic could have, firstly, done a “priori incantetum” with Sirius’ wand to ensure that his wand never cast the spell that blasted the street. Secondly, they could have used Veritaserum. And folks argue that people carry antidotes to Veritaserum with them as mentioned in book 6 but honestly once Sirius is caught by the ministry will they not search him for any other hidden items etc. Once they confirmed that he had no antidote, they could have interrogated him and known the truth instantly. In book 6 Dumbledore indicates that Veritaserum was not used by the ministry on Morphin since he confessed to the Riddle murders and the serum might not have worked since his memory was modified. But that means that the ministry could have used Veritaserum on Sirius or did Sirius confess to killing the 12 muggles and Pettigrew?

At the end of book 3 Peter Pettigrew’s escape feels contrived. Lupin by nature is shown to be a very responsible character and Dumbledore has trusted him enough to hire him despite his condition. Why would he act so out-of-character and forget to take his wolfs bane potion, especially when he is teaching at Hogwarts?

Book 4 is filled with such a convoluted plan to get Harry away from Hogwarts. They could have done it anytime during the year but yet again Voldy is considerate enough to not disrupt the school schedule and strikes ONLY at the end of the school year.

Hogwarts owls or owls in the village post office at Hogsmeade are used to deliver letters, parcels etc. We also know that animals can be placed under the “imperius” curse as demonstrated by fake Moody in book 4. Why couldn’t they send a portkey via an owl under the imperius influence to Harry while he is at Hogwarts and make sure that the owl delivered the parcel in his dorm? (BTW, turning Draco into a ferret is fake Moody’s one good deed!)

And how can there be only 3 unforgivable curses? Memory spells, love potions, and polyjuice potion can all be used to do things much much worse than death. And yet they are treated so casually in the books.

In book 4 they use Veritaserum on Crouch Jr. and learn about his treachery. Dumbledore also listens to Harry’s confession of the events that occurred in the final task of the Triwizard tournament. Why does Dumbledore not extract Harry’s memory of events in the graveyard and the memory of Crouch Jr’s confession and show those to Cornelius Fudge in the pensieve? It would have been very difficult for Fudge to refute Harry’s claim that Voldy was back had he seen the memories in the pensieve for himself. We would not have the needless drama in book 5 if Fudge wasn’t in denial about Voldy’s return.

Although Sirius Black was able to clear his name with the Order of the Phoenix by revealing Pettigrew’s secret, he was unable to prove his innocence to the wider wizarding world. As a result, he was confined to Grimmauld Place, irked at his inability to get out and work for the Order which was further aggravated by Snape’s snide remarks. He was so frustrated by being shut up there that he broke the rule of his confinement to take on his dog form in order to see Harry off at the train station. This makes his Animagus form known to death eaters since Lucius Malfoy spots him and is suspicious. Sirius was then constantly reminded that he shouldn’t go out in his Animagus form and was asked to stay inside Grimmauld place. The obvious solution to this is the use of polyjuice potion (do a planned impersonation of another order member) to allow Sirius a way to actively participate in Order activities. Polyjuice potion has been extensively used in the series. Even barely-trained 2nd year students can manage brewing the potion so it should have been a simple solution for full grown wizards in the Order. Why didn’t Sirius himself make some, wasn’t he one of the creators of the Marauder’s map?

In book 5 when Voldemort plants the fake image of Sirius kidnapped in Harry’s mind, Harry could have easily used the two-way mirror that Sirius gifts him earlier in the series. In the book it is shown that Harry doesn’t even open that gift until after the events in the ministry unfold and Sirius is already dead. The odd part is that Harry uses the floo network in Umbridge’s fireplace twice after receiving the gift (mirror) from Sirius. Now granted that Harry does not know what the gift is at this point in the story but shouldn’t Sirius have asked Harry to open the package and use the mirror to communicate. In fact, being his godfather and an order member, Sirius should have stressed this to Harry, “Hey Harry looks like the ministry is monitoring the floo networks, let us not talk via fireplaces, open my gift it is a two-way mirror which is more secure and private for us to chat when needed. James and I used it when we were in separate detentions.” I’m sure Harry would have been overjoyed to be included in the private ritual that Sirius and James once shared.

Dumbledore – This is the man who is supposed to be the greatest wizard of all time but he is not really good at planning, is he? He has the entire year in book 6 to give clear instructions and prepare Harry for the task of destroying horcruxes but does nothing concrete other than looking at memories in the pensieve. Also, he knows that Voldemort no longer intends to possess Harry’s mind as is mentioned by him to Harry in book 6, chapter 4 – Horace Slughorn. There is even mention of occulomency lessons with Snape which is termed as a fiasco. Well it is only book 6, there is still time for Dumbledore to teach Harry occulomency himself. Why do he and Harry not go to the chamber of secrets and get basilisk fangs as a backup tool for destroying horcruxes? Dumbledore is aware that his days are numbered and the curse trapped in his hand is eventually going to kill him. He has even made provisions for his own death with Snape if it came to that. Why doesn’t he plan for alternative ways of assisting Harry or give him a portrait of himself for safe keeping? Harry and gang could have benefited from such a portrait in book 7. He does not teach Harry specific charms/spells for defense or for horcrux destruction.

He takes Harry to the cave to get the locket horcrux, again, without prepping him. Why do they not discuss how to fight dark creatures they know Voldemort has used as part of his army in their lessons? Harry may not be very bright at asking the right questions but Dumbledore is not supposed to be so foolish. Moreover, in the cave why not use Fawkes to drink the potion? Fawkes has taken the killing curse for Dumbledore in book 5. Fawkes will be reborn or did Dumbledore forget that important point? He could have avoided weakening himself had he not drank the potion.

Now let us talk about WANDS! Hagrid lost his wand for something his alleged pet allegedly did when he was at Hogwarts and he was expelled. For this he is sent to Azkaban, Dumbledore helps him out of course since he is innocent and gets him the game keeper position at Hogwarts. Hagrid is out of Azkaban in few months but we know that his wand has been snapped, even if, not taken away from him since he hides his wand pieces in the pink umbrella. Now may be they returned Hagrid’s snapped wand pieces to him since his crime was not a very grave one (harboring a creature called the Acramantula). However, Bellatrix has killed and tortured people; did they not break her wand? Surely those convicted for unforgivable curses would have their wands destroyed. Yet, Bellatrix has her original wand as indicated by Ollivander identifying Bellatrix’s wand in book 7, chapter 25 – Shell Cottage.

In book 7 during the battle at Hogwarts Harry stood before a group of death eaters and Voldemort in his invisibility cloak in the Forbidden Forest, completely undetected. Wouldn’t that mean his evacuation from Privet Drive have gone much more smoothly by leaving in a car or just walking away while under the cloak? And may be take polyjuice potion as an extra precaution so he looks like Dudley or something instead of 7 potters and 14 people risking their lives. There were no caterwauling charms on Privet Drive that we know of; they could have also done a side-along apparition (may be just Tonks and Harry under the cloak) after coming outside of the house’s Fidelius charm.

When Harry, Hermione, and Ron are on the run in book 7, they struggle to find food. It is a source of major frustration and conflict in their lives along with not making progress finding horcruxes. But having enough food shouldn’t have been a problem for the three. It is not possible to create food out of nothing using magic, as it’s one of the exceptions to Gamp’s Law of Transfiguration (pointed out by our trusty Hermoine). However, it is still possible to magic existing food by transforming it, increasing it, or summoning it if you know where it is. In short, they could have just increased their existing food easily. They had purchased groceries at a farm, they could keep increasing the quantity and always leave extra for future increments. Doesn’t Hermoine know any muggle restaurants in London? Can’t she use the invisibility cloak, apparition, and summoning charms to get food from these restaurants?

Fidelius Charm – When Lily and James were forced to go into hiding during the first war against Voldemort they had placed the Fidelius charm on their home. A dwelling protected by the Fidelius Charm in this way becomes absolutely hidden, keeping the occupants safe. Professor Flitwick mentions that this charm can only be broken if the secret keeper (a person who becomes the living embodiment of a secret) voluntarily gives the secret. The secret cannot be coaxed out by Veritaserum or Legilimency or the Imperius curse. Why then, would Lily and James not be their own secret keeper? In book 7, Bill is secret keeper for Shell Cottage and Arthur Weasley is secret keeper for Aunt Muriel’s residence. Either Lily or James could have been the secret keeper of their own home.

How is it possible that muggles ignore or are not suspicious of the Hogwarts students when they disappear at the barrier to get to platform 9¾? Shouldn’t the Hogwarts express leave from Diagon alley so there is lesser chance of muggles finding out the secret wizard world? Plus, wizards/witches (even if they are muggle-born) go to Diagon alley for wizard books, money, robes, wands etc. Wouldn’t it be better to have the Hogwarts express train station there? Imagine going into the wizard world for books, robes, wands etc. and coming back into the muggle world so that you have to discreetly (ensuring that no muggle is suspicious) slip through a barrier with huge trunks and cages and ride a train back to the wizard world. Weird, right?

And wouldn’t it be better for the students to have school backpacks which are like Newt Scamader’s suitcase (with muggle-worthy option) which has extension charms and will not look suspicious to muggles (or like Hermoine’s beaded bag) so that they don’t have to parade around their trunks and owls/cats/rats/toads etc. in the muggle world.

Quidditch – Clearly this is just a ploy to magnify the importance of the protagonist. This game is meaningless as the only player of consequence is the seeker. I mean, seriously, all the work the poor chasers, beaters, and keeper do is worthless :(.

The wizard world does not seem to be doing anything extra for offense and defense during dueling. We have seen the invisibility cloak which is good for hiding but will not make you curse-proof, how about creating physical shields from dragon hide? In book 4 we see that it takes about 30 or so wizards working together to subdue a dragon which means dragon hide could be used to make physical shields. In book 5 we have seen in the ministry battle Dumbledore transfigure objects and use them as physical blocks against curses from Voldemort. So physical shields could help defend against curses while dueling. Now for offense couldn’t they use multiple wands while dueling. Harry used 3 wands at Malfoy Manor in book 7 and the triple spell was more powerful than if it were cast by a single wand.

The Harry Potter books have gained immense popularity but at their core these are kids’ books and need to be taken as such, if you look to them with the eyes of scientific, logical, and thoughtful adults the whole thing falls apart. This is not to say that the books are not enjoyable, quite the contrary, these issues only come to light since I am such a fan and read them obsessively. The creation of Pottermore.com has been great as we keep getting little tidbits on many of the non-primary characters who are nonetheless very enchanting like Luna Lovegood. Would love to see a movie or a book with her as the protagonist, may be a sequel about Luna working in the wizard world. I wonder what her profession would be?